$ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ Intentional Investing Newsletter formerly Wealth Healthy Women December, 2003 $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ = $ IN THIS ISSUE: 1. Note From Your Editor, Lynne 2. Article: Intentional Investing at the Holidays 3. Intentional Investing Gifts 4. Intentional Investing Announcements ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Note From Lynne -=- Dear Reader, It's that holiday time of year - the time to acknowledge the passing of 2003, to appreciate our relationships, to anticipate the promises of 2004, and for many of us to celebrate our faith and spirituality. It's also a time filled with expectations and obligations, with a heavy focus on material giving. Are you feeling the pull to buy, decorate, cook, and spend your money and time once again this season? There's something to be said for keeping up traditions that we've done for years. I enjoy several myself. The point is to choose them intentionally. I used to send out 200 holiday cards in mid- December. I'd stay up to the wee hours writing short personal notes in each. One night, bleary-eyed and exhausted, I asked myself: "Why am I doing this - and doing this NOW - when my schedule is packed with coaching calls, projects to finish, business holiday events to attend - not to mention getting things ready at home??" It was only when I seriously asked myself that question that I saw another possibility. "If my intention is to be in touch with people I care about, what are other ways to honor that desire?" Now I send out New Year's greetings during the middle of January. I have time to write them, my card gets noticed, and people actually have time to read my note! If you're going through the motions but not feeling the true joy of the holiday spirit, read the feature article on 5 Key Questions for Investing Intentionally in Your Holidays. If you're feeling joyful and content, forward it as a gift to someone who isn't. Have a wonderful, joyous holiday season! Warmly, Lynne ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ Lynne Hornyak, Ph.D., Editor e-mail: Lynne@WealthHealthy.com Coaching busy professionals to greater financial freedom and well-being. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Feature Article: 5 Key Questions for Investing Intentionally in Your Holidays -=- Whether we're aware of it or not, we are constantly asking ourselves questions. Usually we're more aware of the answers than the questions themselves. "I've GOT to place those catalog orders tonight." "Gee, I'm almost at my credit card limit." "I HATE making those silly sugar cookies every year for the office party; they take up too much of my time." Those thoughts are responses to silent questions that may go something like this: "What do I have to do yet for the holidays?" "How much have I spent for gifts and decorations?" "What are others expecting me to do?" It's very common for us to go on "automatic pilot" during the holiday season. We have our mental checklists - our annual gift list, the holiday parties we host and attend each year, the foods we prepare or hunt for in our favorite shops, the decorations we display...the lists go on. These traditions and rituals have their wonderful side. We look forward to them, they bring continuity to our lives, they bond us with others. On the down side, we can feel obligated and strained as we try to meet our own and others' expectations. The good news is that we have a choice here. We can approach these traditions intentionally or automatically. My hunch is that we feel worn out, burdened and resentful when we're operating automatically. We may decide to go ahead and do what we planned to do, but when we ask ourselves the question: What do we REALLY want to do?" it casts the situation in a different light. At the holidays, our investment may be time. We spend time searching for "just right" gifts, wrapping them beautifully. Or, we spend several hours baking 500 cookies to package as gifts. How often do we think about the costs of spending our time a certain way? How often do we decide whether we want to make that investment? We also invest significant amounts of money. Gifts and wrapping paper, food, decorations, airline tickets or gasoline used to visit relatives and friends, parties -- they all cost money. Again, we can spend automatically - my client Alan admitted "I just pull out the plastic and hold my breath when I open the credit card bill" - or intentionally - "What do I want to spend during the holidays? If I spend that amount of money, what else has to go on hold? Am I willing to do that?" I'd like to give you a gift. It's the gift of 5 questions to ask yourself that can allow you to be more intentional about spending during the holidays. Read the questions over. Try them on. You may decide to do something different right now, initiate some changes next year,or decide that you're doing just what you want to do! $$ 5 Questions for Intentionally Investing in Your Holidays $$ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 1. What do I REALLY want my holidays to be like? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Imagine that there are no constraints. You have the opportunity to design the perfect holiday season. Write down what you imagine in as much detail as possible. Here's an exercise to stimulate your thinking: Imagine there are 5 houses on your street. You can live in any one of these houses for the holidays. You peek in the windows to see what they look like inside. House 1 is Martha Stewart-perfect. Each room is gorgeously decorated, everything is in its place. House 2 is like a Norman Rockwell painting. The living room is filled with family sitting around a cozy fireplace, laughing at each others' stories, eating popcorn, and playing games together. House 3 must be the house of a Snow Bird headed to another part of the country. There are no decorations. It looks like any other season of the year. House 4 looks like a Friends episode. There are lots of people coming and going, lots of activity and banter. House 5 must have the motto "Everything in Moderation." There are lights strung up, the tree is decorated with some presents underneath. It's tasteful and uncomplicated. Which one attracts you the most? The least? What does this tell you about your preferences? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 2. What expectations do I have of myself for the holidays? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - This is the ideal time to identify your expectations since you are currently responding to them with your actions. Simply write your actions down: Do you buy gifts and for whom? Do you decorate and with what decorations? Do you send cards and how many? Do you cook special foods, host certain parties, take food over to other celebrations? Do you travel to relatives and friends? Do you make lengthy phonecalls to people you call once a year? Now, go back to each item and imagine eliminating it. What objections or "push-backs" come to mind? For example, "But I always give expensive presents to my friends. If I don't they'll think I'm not doing well financially." "I have to send out holiday cards to all my customers. It's one of my major marketing initiatives." "I've held our family's Christmas dinner here for the past eight years. I can't just say I don't want to do it anymore." Those objections are likely to have self-expectations behind them. For example, do you expect yourself to always appear successful? Do you expect yourself to cram more into your schedule than you have hours in the day for? Do you expect yourself to be superwoman or superman? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 3. What expectations do others have for the holidays that I feel responsible to fulfill? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Using the list that you generated in #2, listen to your objections. Do they reflect others' expectations of you, or what you think others expect of you? "I'd be letting my kids down if we don't put up all the decorations, bake cookies together and have lots of presents." "My sister will give me the silent treatment again if I don't buy her kids some great (expensive) toys." What expectations are you taking responsibility for? For what reasons are you taking them on? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 4. What am I not saying "no" to? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Your responses to questions 2 and 3 can reveal what you're not saying "no" to -- time-wise, money-wise and energy-wise. Why do we have difficulty saying no? One reason can be our self-image. "That's who I am," or "That's not me if I change." Good questions to ask yourself include: Is my self-image really so dependent on that particular way of doing things? What other ways can I express myself at less cost? Another reason for not saying "no" is our fear of others' reactions. We don't want the consequences. Or we may not have acceptable ways of saying "no." Learning to say "no" is a skill - and it can be learned. Another reason for not saying "no" is that we don't realize that we can "counteroffer." If I don't want to do X, what about Y instead? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 5. What are two things I can do differently to be more in alignment with my holiday ideal? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - If you asked yourself the previous questions and discovered that expectations and habits are directing your holidays, consider taking some small steps that will move you intentionally toward your vision of a satisfying, gratifying holiday time. Acting intentionally will not eliminate all of the holiday stresses and hassles. The weather may still be nasty, the roads snarled with last-minute shoppers heading to the malls. And your Aunt Jessie may still complain about the food you serve and the kids making noise. But, you can have the pleasure of knowing that you're taking charge and intentionally investing in your life. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ Like what you're reading? Then send this newsletter to friends, family, and colleagues who are interested in moving toward greater financial freedom and well-being. They can subscribe at www.WealthHealthy.com, or by sending an e-mail to Lynne@WealthHealthy.com with "subscribe newsletter" in the subject line. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Top Five Intentional Investing Gifts -=- 5. Magazines and newsletters. Publications such as Money, Smart Money, Kiplinger's Personal Finance, and Bottom Line\Personal are reasonably priced, practical and informative. 4. Personal Finance Courses. Community colleges, continuing education programs at local colleges and universities, and women's centers are a few places that typically offer courses that provide a solid foundation for understanding your finances, investing, and planning for retirement 3. Consultation with a Financial Planner. A more expensive gift, but often well worth the investment. Check with friends and relatives for the names of planners in your community who have a good reputation and excellent planning skills. 2. Intentional Investing Telegroups. Give yourself or someone you love a certificate for a 4-week Intentional Investing Telegroup. Groups will begin in January. See the Intentional Investing Announcements. 1. Intentional Investing Consultation. Give yourself or someone you love a 3-session one-on-one consultation with Lynne. See the Intentional Investing Announcements. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ If you are interested in coaching, contact me for a free half-hour consultation at Lynne@WealthHealthy.com or (202) 387-5923. Please include your name, e-mail address, phone number and brief description of your interest in being coached. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Intentional Investing Announcements -=- $ Intentional Investing Telegroups $ The Intentional Investing Telegroups are designed for individuals who want to take charge of their money life. Intentional Investing 101 is a four-session workshop that takes place on the telephone. Participants take stock of their current relationship with money, clarify their financial dreams and goals, identify obstacles and possible solutions,and develop an individualized action plan. Groups are forming for January at various dates and times. Groups will kick off with a minimum of 5 participants and a maximum of 7. **Special for the Holiday: Give yourself or someone you love the gift of a telegroup and save $50 off the regular price if you register before January 6, 2004. You will receive a certificate that can be used for any Intentional Investing 101 class between January and June. Regular price: $200. Holiday special: $150. For information about dates and times, send an e-mail with "Telegroup Schedule" in the subject line to Lynne@WealthHealthy.com. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ $ Intentional Investing Consultation $ Prefer an individual approach? Then schedule a 3-session consultation with Lynne. In the three sessions, we will assess your current relationship with money including strengths, financial decision-making, obstacles to abundance, and other critical factors. We will clarify your financial dreams and goals, then design an individualized action plan for you to achieve your goals. **Special for the Holiday: Give yourself or someone you love the gift of a personal consultation and save $100 off the regular price if you register by January 6, 2004. Regular price: $495 Holiday special: $395 To register for or to discuss the personal consultation, contact Lynne@WealthHealthy.com or by telephone at 202-387-5923. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ** The complete 2004 Schedule of Intentional Investing tele-offerings will be posted in early January. Watch for the announcement in your e-mail! ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ PLEASE NOTE: Intentional Investing [TM] is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for financial, legal, accounting, psychotherapeutic, or other professional advice and consultation. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ Copyright 2000-2003 Lynne Hornyak. All rights reserved. The above material is copyrighted but you may retransmit or distribute it to whomever you wish as long as not a single word is changed, added or deleted, including the contact information. However, you may not copy it to a website without my permission. Reprint permission will be freely granted upon request. Advance written permission must be obtained for any reprinting of this material in modified or altered form. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ $=$ CONTACT INFORMATION $=$ Lynne Hornyak, Ph.D. LMH Services Coaching and Consulting Phone: (202) 387-5923 Fax: (202) 244-3373 e-mail: Lynne@WealthHealthy.com Web: www.WealthHealthy.com www.LMHServices.com