$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$ Wealth Healthy Women Newsletter Healthy Attitudes ==> Wealthy Women [TM] January, 2003 $=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$ WELCOME to Wealth Healthy Women [TM], a free e-mail newsletter for women seeking greater financial freedom and well-being. To subscribe to this e-mail newsletter please send an e-mail to Lynne@WealthHealthy.com. In the subject line put "Subscribe Newsletter". $=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$ IN THIS ISSUE: 1. Note From Your Editor, Lynne 2. Article: What REALLY Matters? 3. Resource Spotlight: Books, Books, Books! 4. WealthHealthy Announcements ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Note From Lynne -=- Happy New Year! I hope that your holidays were richly satisfying. I'm very excited about the coming year. Lots of possibilities are developing for the WealthHealthy Approach and Wealth Healthy Women[TM]. We'll continue this year with the focus on Intentional Investing. We'll go further-- with the theme of "What REALLY Matters" about money -- as well as practical ways to express what matters in your financial life. We have a few specific topics in the pipeline for future articles. Since a large number of WHW readers are babyboomers - born between 1946 and 1964 - we will devote attention to pre-retirement financial planning issues. We'll take a look at money matters facing those who are planning to "join hearts and wallets" with a new partner -- whether for the first, second or third time. Even if you aren't a "boomer," the articles and interviews will prepare you for your future! I've also met some wonderful consultants who will share their wisdom. We'll cover investment education for women, what "artist-types" need to know about business finance, and dealing with financial disruptions such as job loss. I have an invitation for you. And that is to let us know what you REALLY care about, what money-related topics will make a difference in your financial freedom and well-being. We take your input to heart for articles, interviews, and teleclasses. Simply send an e-mail to Lynne@WealthHealthy.com. I also invite you to consider taking a WealthHealthy teleclass this year. Many are FREE, others involve a small fee. In the next few weeks, we'll be sending out a separate newsletter listing upcoming events for the Spring. Watch for it! Warmly, Lynne ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -= Feature Article: -=- $=$ What REALLY Matters $=$ January is typically the time when we resolve to do things differently THIS year. We set goals for ourselves and make lists. Why do we so often start out with noble intentions, set important goals, yet lose focus within a few weeks? There are numerous reasons and explanations -- as well as familiar rationalizations! But seriously, an essential reason is that many of us skip a step. And that step does not involve "action." It involves reflection. Deep reflection. Deep reflection that we ALL are capable of. It's just not typically reinforced and valued in our high-speed, action- oriented culture. Yet, this deep reflection is the core from which we move. $=$ Moving from Our Core $=$ I'm taking Pilates instruction. Pilates is a form of body training that emphasizes the small muscles in the core of the body. It was developed for dancers and circus performers who deeply understand that the core muscles are their "powerhouse," and that they can suffer serious injury when not engaging their powerhouse. I began Pilates after two episodes of excruciating hip pain. It appears that I was overusing my large muscles, not engaging the smaller core muscles that actually power walking, running, every movement. Pilates makes you focus, very intentionally, isolating and working your muscles. And, you know, I haven't had "bad" pain. I feel stronger than I have in a long time. Pilates is the physical body version of the reflection that I'm talking about. We must move from our core, what really matters to us. It is our powerhouse. When we aren't engaging our powerhouse, we likely aren't even noticing that fact. The engagement is very subtle. And it's easy to lose the "feel" of it. Yet, when we aren't moving from our core, we are setting ourselves up for injury. Maybe there are no consequences in the beginning, or for years. But the constant disconnection sets us up for a flare-up. I'm thinking about my client Rita. Rita is a bright, multi-talented woman who called me about career decisions that involved financial concerns and "work\ life balance." Actually, Rita was in an emotional storm. She felt buffeted by all the demands from her multiple roles and commitments, all of which she had initiated as a result of her keen interests. Rita was focused on developing a plan, what to DO to get out of the struggle that she was in. She wanted it yesterday. While a plan would be important, Rita was missing the essential step. I asked her, "Rita, what really matters to you?" She responded with the laundry list of her activities, all of which had value to her. She launched into explaining about all the people who depended on her to uphold her role with them. I have no doubt that all those people did depend on Rita. But that wasn't the pivotal issue. The point was that Rita wasn't connected to what REALLY mattered to HER. As she began to redefine the problem, Rita redefined her plan. Figuring out what really matters to her, and how to live that fully in her life, is her current journey. $=$ Accessing What Really Matters to You $=$ How do you go deep, really deep -- diving beneath "defining goals" and "identifying values." Diving beneath "shoulds," "what works," what others expect. Here are a few questions to assist you. * What REALLY matters to me? Reflect on that for a week. Then reflect another week. * How do I define a "life that counts?" * What personal commitments am I willing to make -- REALLY willing to make? And at what cost? * What do I want others to change? How do I want others to be different? Translate this as: What does this say about what really matters to me? * What have I been tolerating or postponing saying "no" to? The flip side is, what do I need to change and say "yes" to. $=$ Closing Thoughts $=$ Asking the question is as important as distilling the answer. It is an acknowledgement that you are the author of your life. You write the book. What will be a meaningful narrative? Defining what really matters is not blind idealism or self-indulgence. The world is full of challenges. The reality is that we can't always "have what we want when we want it." Defining what really matters is about responsibility -- taking the responsibilty to know ourselves and then to make choices to follow that path. It may mean accepting that there are consequences for our choices, that others may not approve of them. Responsibility is making the choice to live what really matters to you, fully accepting the consequences of your choices. After figuring out "what matters," you can move on to the next set of important questions. These questions include: * What goals reflect what really matters to me? * How can I make these goals work? * What will be the costs -- financial, emotional, social? * How do I use money in ways that support what really matters to me? * What do I need to say "no" to financially? * How do I need to deal with money differently in my important relationships? If you find this reflection difficult to do with yourself, consider hiring a coach. A coach can help you to ask the hard questions and search widely and deeply for the answers. A coach can help you translate "what matters" into "what works." ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=-Resource Spotlight: -=- $=$ Books, Books, Books $=$ Here are reviews of two current personal finance books geared toward female audiences. $ Girls Just Want to Have Funds, by Susannah Blake Goodman. The description from the cover aptly describes Goodman's book: "The daughter of finance wizard Jerry Goodman, host of Adam Smith's Money World, shares her hip, practical tips on investing for women in their 20s and 30s. "If you know how to deal with a bad hair day, then you have what it takes to be a smart investor. That's the message behind this funny yet truly useful investment guide filled with basic facts, helpful hints, and 'chick wisdom.' Author Susannah Goodman's smart and sassy investment guide reviews the basics, from stocks and bonds to mutual funds and money markets, in chapters entitled 'One Size Doesn't Fit All,' 'Bonding with Bonds,' and 'Fabulous Money Makeovers.' Interviews with such financial giants as Warren Buffett, Amy Domini, and Sharon Rich offer invaluable, expert advice. Best of all, Goodman's common sense approach assures women that they already know more than they think about smart investing. It's as easy--and important--as shopping for the perfect little black dress." Secrets of Six Figure Women, by Barbara Stanny. >From Publishers Weekly: "There are more women earning more than $100,000 today than ever before. But these high achievers have had a low profile, says Stanny, a motivational speaker and former journalist. In an attempt to reveal the inner workings of those money makers, she offers a concise, honest book based on interviews with over 150 high-earning women. The women's strategies are not revolutionary, and women seeking to earn more can certainly learn from them. Among the key tips: 'stretch' (i.e., have the courage to do the things you think you can't) and 'let go of the ledge' (i.e., rid yourself of an unfulfilling job, unpleasant relationship, inappropriate goal or damaging habit). Recognizing that a high income doesn't guarantee happiness, Stanny offers advice with the reader's personal well-being in mind." Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ While not a book on personal finance, I recently read Catfight: Women and Competition by Leora Tanenbaum, published in 2002. The message of the book is compelling for anyone interested in women's empowerment. Tanenbaum has written a fascinating social critique about the nature of competition between women. She elaborates the "currency" through which women have historically competed: beauty, dating the better guy, using the "female advantage" at work, and being better mothers than other women. Tannenbaum blends academic research, media reports, as well as her own personal struggles to make her point. What I really appreciated was Tanenbaum's position that competition is a learned behavior, not human nature. She explains how it emerges from the status quo as well as maintains it, while keeping women from gaining more genuine power over their lives. Awareness is power, and allows us to "redirect our inclinations." Tanenbaum also discusses and illustrates healthy competition, such as the lessons potentially available in competitive sports. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ If you have read a book that has made a difference in your money life, send a one or two paragraph review to Lynne@WealthHealthy.com. As long as it meets certain editorial guidelines, I will publish the review in a future issue to share with other WealthHealthy readers. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- WealthHealthy Announcements -=- $=$ Teleclasses $=$ **In response to comments of WHW readers, we are offering teleclasses at lunchtime -- a Brown Bag Lunch series on the phone. We continue to offer evening sessions, so please note that the following teleforum has two sections. Dialogue: What REALLY Matters Details: Interested in jump-starting your own reflection on what really matters? Do you get inspired by talking with and listening to others? Then participate in one of the following free dialogue teleforums. In the company of like-minded women, you'll have the opportunity to reflect on and respond to thought-evoking questions, listen to the wisdom and experience of others, and move forward on your journey. When: Section A: Wednesday, January 22 Noon - 1:00 PM, Eastern Time Section B: Wednesday, January 22 6:30 - 7:30 PM, Eastern Time Where: The comfort of your home or office! When you register, you will receive the telephone number to call for the teleforum. How much: Free How do I register? Send an e-mail to: Lynne@WealthHealthy.com, with "Register" in the Subject line. In the body of the e-mail, please include your name, e-mail address, phone number and which section you would like to take. If you have specific questions about the class, please put them in the e-mail as well. ** Please note that the teleforums will be held if more than five women register, to allow for engaging discussion. Registration will be limited to 12 participants, for the same reason. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ To hear a 10-minute description of the WealthHealthy approach, as well as a bit about me, you can call 1-212-461-2660. If you are interested in coaching, simply e-mail me at Lynne@WealthHealthy.com or call me at (202) 387-5923. Please include your name, e-mail address, phone number and brief description of your interest in being coached. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ Pass this newsletter along to friends, family, and colleagues who also may be interested in moving toward greater financial freedom and well-being. They can get their own free subscription by going to http://WealthHealthy.com and signing up -- it's as simple as typing in your e-mail address. Or, send an e-mail to whw-request@WealthHealthy.com with the word "subscribe newsletter" in the body of the letter. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ PLEASE NOTE: Wealth Healthy Women [TM] is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for financial, legal, accounting, psychotherapeutic, or other professional advice and consultation. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ Copyright 2003 Lynne Hornyak. All rights reserved. The above material is copyrighted but you may retransmit or distribute it to whomever you wish as long as not a single word is changed, added or deleted, including the contact information. However, you may not copy it to a website without my permission. Reprint permission will be freely granted upon request. Advance written permission must be obtained for any reprinting of this material in modified or altered form. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ $=$ CONTACT INFORMATION $=$ Lynne Hornyak, Ph.D. WealthHealthy.com Phone: (202) 387-5923 Fax: (202) 244-3373 e-mail: Lynne@WealthHealthy.com Web: http://WealthHealthy.com