$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$ Wealth Healthy Women Newsletter Healthy Attitudes ==> Wealthy Women [TM] September, 2002 $=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$ WELCOME to Wealth Healthy Women [TM], a free e-mail newsletter for women seeking greater financial freedom and well-being. To subscribe to this free e-mail newsletter please send an e-mail to Lynne@WealthHealthy.com. In the subject line put "Subscribe Newsletter". $=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$ IN THIS ISSUE: 1. Note From Your Editor, Lynne 2. Article: Pillar Six of Financial Self-Esteem: Money Integrity 3. Resource Spotlight: Integrity Books 4. WealthHealthy Announcements ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Note From Lynne -=- It's nice to be back with you after my remarkable journey to Vietnam. We traveled throughout the country, experiencing the incredible variety and beauty of the Vietamese people and landscape. Our visits to major sites of the American War (Vietnam War to us) were both sobering and perspective-giving. This issue's feature article on money integrity completes the Pillars of Financial Self-Esteem series. I hope that the series has been thought-provoking and useful to you on your journey to financial freedom and well-being. In October we will be offering a fun three-session teleclass to "put the pillars in place." So, if you'd like the company of other like-minded women as you apply the pillars in your money life, see the WealthHealthy announcement section for details. I'd also like to invite you to submit your top money-related questions for our new section "What's Hot: Questions from WH Readers." Look for the responses from various financial experts in upcoming issues. Warmly, Lynne ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -= Feature Article: Money Integrity =- $=$ BACKGROUND $=$ In the last issue, we covered the financial self-esteem pillar of dealing with money purposefully. Key points covered: * Committing to this pillar requires clarifying the large picture -- your core values, needs and life goals. * Committing to this principle involves self- observation. * Committing to this principle involves making choices *in the moment* that are in line with your core values, needs and goals. $=$ MONEY INTEGRITY $=$ We are hearing a lot about integrity these days, as the world tries to make sense of the actions of certain corporate leaders who betrayed the trust of thousands of employees and investors, and wreaked havoc in financial markets. Many of us personally feel the instability and insecurity produced by such actions. On the "opportunity side", these events provoke us to take stock of our own money integrity. While the meaning of "integrity" differs from person to person, the concept typically includes the characteristic of being sound, undivided, as well as being honest. Let's look at this concept in greater depth. * Money integrity means that your money goals, attitudes and habits are aligned (i.e., sound, undivided) with your core values. Most of us know what it's like to feel "out of sorts," distracted or defensive about a money-related decision. It happens whether the decision is huge or minor. Our reaction signals that we are facing an *integrity moment*. For example, a colleague called me last week to present at a conference. She was very flattering about my expertise and commented that I'd been missed since I had not presented in a while. Swept up in the positive feelings, I readily accepted the invitation. Later that afternoon, I was distracted and irritable -- my usual "out of sorts" signals. Revisiting the conversation, I hadn't even considered the financial costs, which I know are hefty since faculty pay their own hotel, transportation and registration costs. Contributing to my profession and maintaining ties with that community are strong values of mine. However, I was out of alignment with my current commitment to financial security. I have a budget and this trip put me significantly over-budget for professional expenses. Consequently, I was out of money integrity. * Commitment to this pillar means being honest with yourself. Particularly, it means noticing when you are rationalizing how you are dealing with money. Could I rationalize that the presentation was good for my career, good for renewing ties with important colleagues, justifiable because it was for education rather than something "frivolous"? Sure. But, I was not in alignment with my financial agreement with myself - to budget in order to balance my income and expenses. The reality is, we human beings are complex. We have numerous goals, dreams and wants, that can compete for our time, energy and money. Integrity is about recognizing and appreciating these competing agendas. As Linda Tobey observes in her book "The Integrity Moment," how one resolves these challenges of the moment differs from person to person. Your choice may also differ from time to time in your life. What choice you make is based on your values, how you interpret the circumstances and what you anticipate could be the consequences of your choice or lack of action. Often you know that you've made the right decision by how you feel as a result -- "big", meaning consistent with your authentic self, or "small," meaning you compromised your self. My "out of sorts" feeling let me know that I had compromised my money integrity in the "feel good" of the moment. * Commitment to this pillar means honestly prioritizing our competing agendas, addressing our fears, and courageously taking action in alignment with our priorities. For example, Jackie wants to take a week-long vacation at a popular and expensive spa in California. She also wants to buy a new home in two years and needs to save $20,000 for the downpayment. Her cash flow does not allow for both. Recognizing that, Jackie has a money integrity moment. Sandy dearly wants to retire early to live her dream opening a pottery studio in New Mexico. She has a fascinating job in a non-profit organization that pays around $38,000. She is struggling with the decision of leaving her great job to find a higher-paying position, at the age of 39, or changing her retirement goal. Does Sandy hold firm to her longstanding retirement dream, or keep her secure job? Sandy feels the tugs of competing needs. In Jackie's case, if she could find a creative compromise -- to have a short but wonderful vacation and save less for the house -- that would certainly be an option. However, Jackie views those compromises as unacceptable, that they would deprive her of what she really wants which is to reward herself for working long hours by going to the spa as well as buying her house as soon as possible. Her decision-making comes to a standstill. Jackie's situation illustrates a common fear, that of feeling deprived. This fear can paralyze individuals in their integrity moment. Sandy's competing needs also bring with them competing fears of security and of taking the risk to live your authentic life. When fear speaks on either side, Sandy rationalizes that "it's not that important to retire early" or that "a bird in hand" is wiser than rocking the career boat. Fears can make our integrity moments complex and painful. Facing fears underlying our money decisions takes honesty and courage. My belief and experience is that knowing yourself, identifying your priorities, reaffirming the commitment to live your priorities, and moving through the fear is the way to liberation. As Linda Tobey comments, "Sorry, there's no booster shot for integrity!" Yet each time we follow this process, our integrity "muscle" builds and grows stronger. **See a review of "The Integrity Moment" in the Resource Spotlight section. $=$ TIPS $=$ 1. Did you develop your lists of Core Values and of Core Needs after reading Pillar 5, Dealing with Money Purposefully? Read them every day to keep them fresh in your mind. 2. Catch yourself in "random acts of money integrity." Small decisions are as valuable as huge ones. Writing them down helps you remember them. 3. If you find yourself being self-critical when in a money integrity moment, reframe the situation as having "competing agendas". Take a piece of paper and list the values or goals that are competing for your attention and action. Be as factual as possible. Notice if the decision seems less "loaded" emotionally by doing so. 4. Remember that sometimes you won't know that you didn't act with money integrity until you get your "out of sorts" signal. Ask yourself: How was my action out of integrity with my money values or goals? Can I correct this course of action at this point? If not, what did I learn for next time? ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Resource Spotlight: Integrity Books -=- $=$ The Integrity Moment: Making Powerful Choices in Life. Author: Linda Tobey $=$ It was a fascinating moment of serendipity to be having dinner with Linda Tobey as I was beginning this issue of Wealth Healthy Women on money integrity. When I asked Linda about her recent book, not remembering the title, I knew this was a conversation that was meant to be. I immediately purchased and read "The Integrity Moment." And, I don't think I could have written a book that so compatibly explained the qualities of integrity as well as the dilemmas we face in everyday moments that build or diminish our sense of integrity. It's full of experiences and stories that you can relate to, as well as exercises that serve as wonderful coaching tools to help you to live life authentically. Published by Kendall/Hunt Publishing Company, 2001. You can find out more information about The Integrity Moment at www.life-foundations.com. $=$ Your Money or Your Life $=$ This review was submitted by Wealth Health Women[TM] reader Kimberly Hughes. Kim also is a fond colleague and founder of TrueSelf Coaching. I read an amazing book called "Your Money or Your Life" by Joe Dominguez and Vicki Robin. Among its purposes is to help us understand the "price we pay" when we aren't conscious of our money lives, either the earning or the spending part. The book recommends a thorough inventory of earnings and spendings, and advocates developing your own formula for how much you believe your time to be worth. At the time I read it, I examined what I was doing, maintaining an emotionally and energetically expensive job on Wall Street, and how much of my life force as well as my income was necessary to stay there! I finally chose to temporarily earn less, build my own businesses, and spend my life energy at work which is more consonant with who I am. That's the impact this book had on me! **Lynne's Note: Powerful stuff! Thanks for sharing your personal experience, Kim. I also have read and been greatly impacted by "Your Money or Your Life: Transforming Your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence." It is all about money integrity and intentionally investing in yourself. Published by Penguin Books, 1992. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ If you have read a book that has made a difference in your money life, send a one or two paragraph review to Lynne@WealthHealthy.com. As long as it meets certain editorial guidelines, I will publish the review in a future issue to share with other WealthHealthy readers. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^` -=- WealthHealthy Announcements -=- $=$ Teleclasses $=$ **In response to comments of WHW readers, we are offering teleclasses at lunchtime -- like a Brown Bag Lunch series on the phone. We continue to offer evening sessions, so please note that the following mini-class has two sections. Also, let me know if a pre-work series, for example at 7:30 AM Eastern time, would be better for your schedule. Pumping Up Your Pillars Financial self-esteem is the foundation on which we manage our money and make important financial decisions. Doesn't it make sense to have "rock-solid" financial self-esteem? This 3-session mini-class is designed to help you achieve that goal. Through specific exercises, you will assess your current level of financial self-esteem and decide where it can use strengthening. We'll discuss the six pillars of self-esteem as they relate to the details of your life. And by making use of various coaching tools and the wisdom of group members, you will leave the class with specific action steps to solidify your financial foundation. Details: When: Section A: Tuesdays, October 8, 15, 22 Noon - 1:00 PM, Eastern Time Section B: Tuesdays, October 8, 15, 22 6:30 - 7:30 PM, Eastern Time Where: The comfort of your home or office! When you register, you will receive the telephone number to call for the teleclass. How much: $45.00 for the three-session class, with a minimum of five and maximum of 12 participants per class. How do I register? Send an e-mail to: Lynne@WealthHealthy.com, with "Register" in the Subject line. In the body of the e-mail, please include your name, e-mail address, phone number and which section you would like to take. If you have specific questions about the class, please put them in the e-mail as well. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ To hear a 10-minute description of the WealthHealthy approach, as well as a bit about me, you can call 1-212-461-2660. If you are interested in coaching, simply e-mail me at Lynne@WealthHealthy.com or call me at (202) 387-5923. Please include your name, e-mail address, phone number and brief description of your interest in being coached. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ Pass this newsletter along to friends, family, and colleagues who also may be interested in moving toward greater financial freedom and well-being. They can get their own free subscription by going to http://WealthHealthy.com and signing up -- it's as simple as typing in your e-mail address. Or, send an e-mail to whw-request@WealthHealthy.com with the word "subscribe newsletter" in the body of the letter. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ PLEASE NOTE: Wealth Healthy Women [TM] is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for financial, legal, accounting, psychotherapeutic, or other professional advice and consultation. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ Copyright 2002 Lynne Hornyak. All rights reserved. The above material is copyrighted but you may retransmit or distribute it to whomever you wish as long as not a single word is changed, added or deleted, including the contact information. However, you may not copy it to a website without my permission. Reprint permission will be freely granted upon request. Advance written permission must be obtained for any reprinting of this material in modified or altered form. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ $=$ CONTACT INFORMATION $=$ Lynne Hornyak, Ph.D. WealthHealthy.com Phone: (202) 387-5923 Fax: (202) 244-3373 e-mail: Lynne@WealthHealthy.com Web: http://WealthHealthy.com