$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$ Wealth Healthy Women Newsletter Healthy Attitudes ==> Wealthy Women [TM] May, 2002 $=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$ WELCOME to Wealth Healthy Women [TM], a free e-mail newsletter for women seeking greater financial freedom and well-being. To subscribe to this free e-mail newsletter please send an e-mail to Lynne@WealthHealthy.com. In the subject line put "Subscribe Newsletter". $=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$=$ IN THIS ISSUE: 1. Note From Your Editor, Lynne 2. Article: Pillar Two of Financial Self-Esteem: Money Self-Acceptance 3. Spotlight: Information on Women and Investing 4. WealthHealthy Announcements ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Note From Lynne -=- Hello! We're on a roll here at WealthHealthy.com. The feature article in this issue covers Pillar 2, Money Self-Acceptance, of the 6 Pillars of Financial Self-Esteem. Soon we will have the foundation fully in place. I invite your comments and suggestions as we complete the 6 Pillars over the next two months. We will then be offering a 6-session teleclass, starting mid-summer, that will guide you through the pillars and take the actions steps that YOU need for strengthening your financial foundation. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ I'd like to share a personal experience that may prevent a financial jolt to those of you who are computer-dependent as I am. Last week, I mistakenly opened an e-mail attachment that I thought was from a friend. Late at night and hurrying, I overlooked my usual "e-rules" of not opening attachments unless I'm certain about the sender and content of the attachment. It took just 2 seconds. I got two very nasty viruses - the Klez and the Ninda. They damaged files in twenty of my programs, including Norton Antivirus software so it wasn't useable. I was down for two days, and am several hundred dollars poorer for the experience. Please, out of self-care, run your virus protection faithfully, update your virus protection software regularly, and always follow your "e-rules" especially when you are tired and in a hurry! Warmly, Lynne ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Feature Article: Money Self-Acceptance -=- $=$ BACKGROUND $=$ In the last issue, I covered the first pillar of financial self-esteem -- living consciously with money. These were the three key points: * Living consciously with money is having the courage to look at the hard realities of your money life. * Commitment to this pillar means that you refuse to take the easy way out by avoiding awareness of your true financial situation. * Commitment to this pillar means that you do not judge yourself for your financial situation or relationship with money. $=$ MONEY SELF-ACCEPTANCE $=$ This is a core pillar of the WealthHealthy approach. What comes to mind when you hear "money self-acceptance?" Are you thinking, does Lynne mean that I should JUST ACCEPT that I spend more than I make almost every month? Is she telling me I just have to accept my financial situation as it is right now? Let me explain. * Money self-acceptance involves identifying your money attitudes, feelings and habits without judgment. For example: Jill comments: "I think money is a necessary evil. So, I don't like to dwell on it, like figuring out how much I earn and how much I spend. Talking about it makes me uncomfortable." Because Jill views money as "bad," she feels uncomfortable discussing money and avoids dealing with it. Nicki shares: "We never had enough money in my family when I was growing up. So, I'm always worried that I won't have enough to pay the bills, even though I know I make a good income. Money in the bank is security for me." Since finances were unstable in Nicki's family, she worries about money matters even when there's no real reason to worry. Saving money has become equated with security. Tina presents a different perspective: "I love to spend my money on whatever I want, when I want. I think that if I earn it, I should be able to spend it. So, I guess that money is power to me, freedom to do what I want." Money means power and freedom to Tina. This meaning affects her spending behavior, and I would predict it affects relationships in which she has to deal with money (ie., that she might feel annoyed and controlled by someone who preferred to plan and budget.) While Jill views money with a judgment (it's evil), Nicki expresses worry, and Tina can feel annoyed in certain money situations, each woman worked on self-acceptance. That is, to state her assumptions, reactions and habits without judging HERSELF about the details. This was not easy for any of them. However, it is an important step to achieve -- to simply state what money means to you and how it affects your reactions and habits. * Commitment to this pillar doesn't stop at recognizing that you think money is a necessary evil, feel uncomfortable talking about it, and avoid dealing with money matters when you can. Acceptance also means accepting that you CAN develop more constructive attitudes and patterns -- you're just not there yet. At this point, you need to ask yourself, what relationship WOULD I like to have with money? What ways would I want to change my money habits so that they would express my new attitudes? For example, Jill began working on a new attitude: Money isn't good or evil -- it's neutral. People do good or evil things with money. The way I handle my finances can be a way I express my values -- being responsible and independent, and contributing to the health of the environment. I can learn about organizing my finances step-by-step, no big system necessary. I don't have to give "negative power" to money. * Commitment to this pillar means that you will likely make some wrong turns and hit setbacks as you learn to change your attitudes and handle money matters in new ways. You build self-acceptance by the way that you HANDLE those setbacks. Jill decided to keep track of her expenses for a month. She began with a goal of writing them down before going to bed. However, her nightly action lasted for one night. Practicing self-acceptance, Jill acknowledged her strategy wasn't working, and decided to carry a small notebook in her purse. Whenever she made a purchase, she pulled out the notebook along with her wallet, and wrote the amount in it. After a week or two, recording purchases became second nature. Jill then developed categories for her expenses and coded them in her notebook. Later she decided to use a money management program that was on her computer. Jill now codes her expenses into the program on Fridays, which takes her about 1/2 hour. At this point, Jill knows that she has more to learn to truly "be on top of her money game." However, she feels more confident about reaching her goals, due to her commitment to self- acceptance. $=S TIPS $=$ 1. Write down your answers to the following questions (these are just a few that you can ask yourself): - What do I think about money and wealth? - What did I learn about money as I was growing up? - What is my "money style" -- how do I spend and save money? 2. Read over your answers, and ask yourself: Am I making judgments about myself or being self-critical? Am I curious and open to observing my reactions and habits? Somewhere in-between? 3. Adopt a non-judgmental attitude. Read over your answers to Tip 1 again, as if you are simply reading facts. Notice how that goes for you. Continue until you can read them without judgment. 4. Ask yourself if you would like to change anything about your money attitudes. What would you like to modify, change? Write that down. 5. Ask yourself, what would be one action that you could take this week to express this new attitude? Take that step -- keep it simple -- and then observe the results. 6. Remember, this is a process, and steps build on one another. Also notice how your self- acceptance builds as you stay non-judgmental and learn from your setbacks as well as successes. **Missing copies of the two previous issues on Financial Self-Esteem? Send an e-mail to Lynne@WealthHealthy.com requesting the overview article and\or Pillar 1, Living Consciously with Money. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ -=- Information on Women and Investing -=- Thanks to a colleague of mine, I learned that OppenheimerFunds recently published their new survey of 1200 women and men on women's attitudes, knowledge and involvement in their financial lives. They compare these responses to a similar survey conducted in 1992. The good news is that "women are more interested and better informed about money and investing than ever before." On the other hand, "women remain largely uninvolved in issues critical to their long-term welfare, particularly investing and retirement planning." A few particularly noteworthy statistics -- the exclamation points are mine: * Only 14% of women married or living with a significant other felt responsible for preparing for retirement. (!) * 49% of women said they weren't sure how a mutual fund worked. * 64% said they'd taken necessary steps to prepare for retirement, yet only 41% participate in their employer's 401(k) plan. Only 36% own an IRA, Keogh, or SEP IRA (!) You can find the report, listed under Women & Investing at http://www.oppenheimerfunds.com. You can also take a 10-item quiz on your investing savvy - and get your results immediately. It was fun, informative and only took a few minutes. What you learn may help you take the next step toward financial independence and well-being. **Please note that this spotlight is not an endorsement by WealthHealthy.com or its editor for OppenheimerFunds. We encourage you to submit substantial web-based resources to share with fellow readers as well. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^` $$ WealthHealthy Announcements $$ -=- Teleclasses: -=- Will resume in late June. Watch for announcements of other WealthHealthy teleclasses in future issues. If there is a topic that particularly interests you, please let me know. Send an e-mail to Lynne@WealthHealthy.com. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ To hear a 10-minute description of the WealthHealthy approach, as well as a bit about me, you can call 1-212-461-2660. If you are interested in coaching, simply e-mail me at Lynne@WealthHealthy.com or call me at (202) 387-5923. Please include your name, e-mail address, phone number and brief description of your interest in being coached. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ Pass this newsletter along to friends, family, and colleagues who also may be interested in moving toward greater financial freedom and well-being. They can get their own free subscription by going to http://wealthhealthy.com and signing up -- it's as simple as typing in your e-mail address. Or, send an e-mail to whw-request@WealthHealthy.com with the word "subscribe newsletter" in the body of the letter. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ PLEASE NOTE: Wealth Healthy Women [TM] is intended for informational and educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for financial, legal, accounting, psychotherapeutic, or other professional advice and consultation. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ Copyright 2002 Lynne Hornyak. All rights reserved. The above material is copyrighted but you may retransmit or distribute it to whomever you wish as long as not a single word is changed, added or deleted, including the contact information. However, you may not copy it to a website without my permission. Reprint permission will be freely granted upon request. Advance written permission must be obtained for any reprinting of this material in modified or altered form. ^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^`^ $$ CONTACT INFORMATION $$ Lynne Hornyak, Ph.D. WealthHealthy.com Phone: (202) 387-5923 Fax: (202) 244-3373 e-mail: Lynne@WealthHealthy.com Web: http://WealthHealthy.com